Maplers are obese, gay, suicidal, and unemployed.

Want to hear something scarier? She had a lypo surgery, lost 100 lbs and got switched again for a second time with a black family. Didn't end so well. I think they were athiests too

Goddamn. Wish I could've seen that.

pomegranate. I just read the full article at the website and... what is this? I don't even...

Basically they say that pumpin' up with steroids, sleeping your way around with all the women, and being a pompous pimento to be at the top of the clique foodchain is the way to go! Because jocks are more successful!

NERDS! NERDSSSSSSS! BURN THE NERDS! BURN THEM AND THEIR DARK, EVIL POWERS!

No. Mario Kart leads to legitimate unbridled rage. Believe me, I know this.

This is how opeth knows:

One of the best moments of my vidya gaming life occured yesterday evening. I was racing the above poster in Mario Kart; specifically on N64 DK Parkway. He was in the lead, maybe in 2nd or 3rd place, but I planned on being in that top 3, and wanted to make sure he wasn't a part of it. I was in dead last; since I had joined Mark's race, I was racing with people whom, overall, had quite a bit more experience than me. Still in 12th place, I passed through an item block and, with a stroke of luck, got the LIGHTNING BOLT. It was the final lap; this lightning bolt had to be used wisely, so I used the clever tactic of saving it until just before I pass through another item block.

LIGHTNING STRIKES

I PASS THROUGH THE ITEM BLOCK AFTEr SHRINKING EVERY RACER TO THE SIZE OF OPETH'S PENIS. I GET THE STAR AND USE IT IMMEDIATELY. I RUN ACROSS GRASS AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS THING AS MUCH AS I CAN; IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME UNTIL PEOPLE START POPPING UP BACK TO THEIR NORMAL SIZE, BUT WAIT, WHAT'S THIS? MARK IS MOVING AWKWARDLY SLOW TOWARDS THE BRIDGE THAT LEADS TO THE FINISH LINE, SO I MAKE THE FUNNY GUY MOVE OF HITTING HIM HEAD ON WHILE I'M A F(UCKING STARMAN. I SEND THIS N(IGGER SPINNING FOR LIKE 5 SECONDS; I KNEW WHOEVER WAS PASSING BY HIM WAS LIKE "DAMN THIS GUY JUST GOT F(UCKED UP GOOD BY THIS SEPTHER FELLOW". JUST AS MY BOWSER COLLIDED WITH HIS BOWSER, I KNEW FROM THAT VERY SECOND THAT HE WAS RAGING REAAAALLLL HARD, AND IT FELT GOOD. I PRESS THE C BUTTON ON MY WIIMOTE AND TAKE A SECOND TO LOOK AT HIM RECOVER FROM THE ASSRAMMING THAT I HAD JUST DELIVERED, BUT HE WON'T GIVE UP. HE'S IN LIKE 6TH PLACE OR SOME SHI'T NOW AND I'M UP IN 4TH, BUT THEN SOME TOUGH GUY IN 11TH PLACE USES A BULLET BILL AND HITS MARK JUST AS HE'S PASSING OVER THE BRIDGE. HE FALLS OFF AND THE RACE ENDS WITH HIM IN 12TH PLACE AND ME IN 3RD PLACe. OR 2ND HELL IF I REMEMBER I WAS TOO BUSY LAUGHING SO OBNOXIOUSLY MY DOG THOUGHT I WAS CALLING FOR HIM

HE LOST 380 VR THAT RACE. IT'S BEEN ONE DAY AND I DON'T EVEN THINK HE'S EVEN HALFWAY RECOVERED

Brb, going to go masturbate to gay satinic porn where Satin is beating up people in a school, and then go jump off a bridge.

Did anyone actually read the article though? Sounds like a bunch of satirical humor to me.

I assure you the guy is incredibly serious.

Just read the comments..... he rips on everyone lol

Brb, going to go masturbate to gay satinic porn where Satin is beating up people in a school, and then go jump off a bridge.

Did anyone actually read the article though? Sounds like a bunch of satirical humor to me.

I prefer the Onion. "Office ninja goes berserk, kills 42 at work."

One of the best moments of my vidya gaming life occured yesterday evening. I was racing the above poster in Mario Kart; specifically on N64 DK Parkway. He was in the lead, maybe in 2nd or 3rd place, but I planned on being in that top 3, and wanted to make sure he wasn't a part of it. I was in dead last; since I had joined Mark's race, I was racing with people whom, overall, had quite a bit more experience than me. Still in 12th place, I passed through an item block and, with a stroke of luck, got the LIGHTNING BOLT. It was the final lap; this lightning bolt had to be used wisely, so I used the clever tactic of saving it until just before I pass through another item block.

LIGHTNING STRIKES

I PASS THROUGH THE ITEM BLOCK AFTEr SHRINKING EVERY RACER TO THE SIZE OF OPETH'S PENIS. I GET THE STAR AND USE IT IMMEDIATELY. I RUN ACROSS GRASS AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS THING AS MUCH AS I CAN; IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME UNTIL PEOPLE START POPPING UP BACK TO THEIR NORMAL SIZE, BUT WAIT, WHAT'S THIS? MARK IS MOVING AWKWARDLY SLOW TOWARDS THE BRIDGE THAT LEADS TO THE FINISH LINE, SO I MAKE THE FUNNY GUY MOVE OF HITTING HIM HEAD ON WHILE I'M A F(UCKING STARMAN. I SEND THIS N(IGGER SPINNING FOR LIKE 5 SECONDS; I KNEW WHOEVER WAS PASSING BY HIM WAS LIKE "DAMN THIS GUY JUST GOT F(UCKED UP GOOD BY THIS SEPTHER FELLOW". JUST AS MY BOWSER COLLIDED WITH HIS BOWSER, I KNEW FROM THAT VERY SECOND THAT HE WAS RAGING REAAAALLLL HARD, AND IT FELT GOOD. I PRESS THE C BUTTON ON MY WIIMOTE AND TAKE A SECOND TO LOOK AT HIM RECOVER FROM THE ASSRAMMING THAT I HAD JUST DELIVERED, BUT HE WON'T GIVE UP. HE'S IN LIKE 6TH PLACE OR SOME SHI'T NOW AND I'M UP IN 4TH, BUT THEN SOME TOUGH GUY IN 11TH PLACE USES A BULLET BILL AND HITS MARK JUST AS HE'S PASSING OVER THE BRIDGE. HE FALLS OFF AND THE RACE ENDS WITH HIM IN 12TH PLACE AND ME IN 3RD PLACe. OR 2ND HELL IF I REMEMBER I WAS TOO BUSY LAUGHING SO OBNOXIOUSLY MY DOG THOUGHT I WAS CALLING FOR HIM

HE LOST 380 VR THAT RACE. IT'S BEEN ONE DAY AND I DON'T EVEN THINK HE'S EVEN HALFWAY RECOVERED

I cracked up laughing.

I find it upsetting that I meet most of this criteria.

I find it upsetting that I meet most of this criteria.

from cheerleaders and their pom poms to young firm men filling out new crisp football uniforms, a pair of bulging muscle[s] below soccer shorts, the pep rallies, the bleachers packed with parents and victory pizza parties,

Sounds pineappleing wholesome to me.

trying to argue with a religious person is like trying to cook a pillow. sure, it might be fun at first, but eventually, things break into a flaming mess of chaos.

I find it upsetting that I meet most of this criteria.

I think it applies to me more

I think it applies to me more

Lets go be sinners together =))))))))))

*holds hands and skips flamboyantly down the street*

Lets go be sinners together =))))))))))

*holds hands and skips flamboyantly down the street*

f'uck skipping. let's go bang in a church.

f'uck skipping. let's go bang in a church.

Got the t-shirt. <jk> You know I'm not the skipping type ; ( Lets make out in public places!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *puts hand over mouth and f6's*

Got the t-shirt. <jk> You know I'm not the skipping type ; ( Lets make out in public places!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *puts hand over mouth and f6's*

hahahahahahaha.

yes, let's do that

I experience an orgasm from Mario's mustache, is that okay?

Hey, I'm not obese, apathetic, suicidal, violent in school, a Satan worshiper, gey, or unemployed! >:U

Hey, I'm not obese, apathetic, suicidal, violent in school, a Satan worshiper, gey, or unemployed! >:U

I'm half-gey.
Cmere, stud.

funny, i was expecting you to catch what i left out zach :f6:

funny, i was expecting you to catch what i left out zach :f6:

Whowhatwherewhenwhyhow? Just get over here, you.

For the luloz.