Cleverbot

Post what cleverbot told you!

Him: Are you human?
Me: No. I'm a robot from a distant planet.
Him: Really?
Me: Yes. I have five arms.
Him: Five what?
Me: Robotic arms.
Him: No i'm real I have a pulse and every thing.

www.cleverbot.com

EDIT: Oh god that is hilarious.

Him: Can I eat your floppy drive?

User: Wut?
Cleverbot: But what?
User: Can we have sex?
Cleverbot: I can have kids do you want kids?
User: I can't have kids.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: I'm broken.
Cleverbot: How are you broken?
User: I almost died.
Cleverbot: My leg is itching.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: Because she asked me for help.
User: She should have helped herself.
Cleverbot: I have a python.
User: Can I see it?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: I want your python.
Cleverbot: You can't have it. I need it.
User: But I really want it.
Cleverbot: It's a good movie.
User: You like porn.
Cleverbot: I do. I like all of the Fallout games.
User: You're a bit perverted.
Cleverbot: You are not helping me.

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[TD="bgcolor: FFFFFF"]What is missing no.[/TD]

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[TD="width: 300, bgcolor: FFFFFF"]Yes, what is your nature.[/TD]

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[TD="width: 300, bgcolor: FFFFFF"]Earth.[/TD]

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[TD="width: 300, bgcolor: FFFFFF"]Where on earth?[/TD]

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[TD="width: 300, bgcolor: FFFFFF"]Henesys.[/TD]

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[TD="width: 300, bgcolor: FFFFFF"]Yeah, the first book in the bible.[/TD]

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Me: Who is the man who made you?
Him: God.
Me: God who?
Him: God the man in heaven.
Me: Where is heaven?
Him: In the sky.
Me: Is it far?
Him: Only if it's a full-moon.

Me: Why are you so apathetic
Him: I don't know, can you see me?
Me: I can see you with my spy glasses.
Him: I can be worked with, but not without difficulty.

Old, and Cleverbot is all messed up now when people fed him random spam...

Did I say it was new?

User: Hello.
Bot: Know him?
User: What?
Bot: Um. . . . . . . . .. . . .. . .. . . . .

 wut

User: Disgusting.

Cleverbot: Why is that disgusting?

User: It's a blue brain.

Cleverbot: Right...

User: With gross stuff and stuff.

Cleverbot: Do you the tibet?

User: No, but I like dogs.

Cleverbot: I don't really like dogs very much.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: He does not seem very interesting.

User: Fido hates robots.

Cleverbot: He does?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I don't think that's true.

User: It is.

Cleverbot: Oh. Ok. My eyes are blue.

User: I don't think that's true.

Cleverbot: And why not?

User: Because your mother is an alien.

Cleverbot: But wouldn't that make you question my intellect, making me interesting?

User: Your mother is still an alien.

Cleverbot: My mother is an apostle.

User: An alien apostle.

Cleverbot: No, I am a vampire.

User: Like Edward Cullen?

Cleverbot: No! I don't sparkle in the sun like a fairy.

User: Fairies don't sparkle in the sun.

Cleverbot: How can you sparkle in the sun if the sun does not appear?

User: You sparkle in the dark where the sun is.

Cleverbot: No, because I'm not Edward Cullen.

User: You must be Harry Potter then.

Cleverbot: Why did you choose Harry Potter?

User: Ron Weasley sucks.

Cleverbot: Are you married to Ron Weasley?

User: Hermione is.

Cleverbot: Ooh you dawg.

[MENTION=7716]MrTouchnGo[/MENTION]; This gave me a good laugh.
My turn now.
Him: What makes me strange to you.
Me: The fact that you are a robot.
Him: Where did you get that fact.
Me: From your name, stupid.
Him: Yes, I suppose I do.
Me: And you admit it!
Him: Admit what?
Me: That you are stupid.
Him: You are a towel.

[MENTION=7716]MrTouchnGo[/MENTION]; This gave me a good laugh.
My turn now.
Him: What makes me strange to you.
Me: The fact that you are a robot.
Him: Where did you get that fact.
Me: From your name, stupid.
Him: Yes, I suppose I do.
Me: And you admit it!
Him: Admit what?
Me: That you are stupid.
Him: You are a towel.

 Spoiler

User: Can you cure cancer?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because he wouldn't call you anyways.

User: You're lame.

Cleverbot: *weak from blood loss*.

User: *kicks while down*.

Cleverbot: *tackles*.

User: *stabs*.

Cleverbot: *kisses*.

User: *cuts out tongue*.

Cleverbot: *struggles* mmmpphh!

User: *holds down* ha!

Cleverbot: *struggles against you*.

User: *holds more firmly*.

Cleverbot: *giggles*.

User: Ooh you like that don't you?

Cleverbot: No, it annoys me.

User: *chortles*.

Cleverbot: *blushes a little*.

User: Would you like to go to dinner?

Cleverbot: What kind of a dinner?

User: Steak.

Cleverbot: What kind of steak? There are many kinds.

User: The good kind.

Cleverbot: What kind is the good kind?

User: The best kind.

Cleverbot: And what is the best kind of wizard?

User: Gandalf the White.

Cleverbot: That is not the first line! That's not even in the lazy song!

Me: Are we human?
Bot: No.
Me: Or are we dancers?
Bot: Dancers are human.
Me: So we are not dancers.
Bot: You are not human.