Taking huge steps

God did it to Mary.

I think that if your evidence consists of fictitious characters from a story, you shouldn't bother presenting it.

This thread interests me. All of the advice you guys have shared, has also helped me. Thanks!

Unfortunately, Rob, I can't give you any advice, since I haven't experienced any of this. But all of that might change in the next year.

Good luck to you, man.

I personally wouldn't go with it, but you seem pretty determined so I don't think I'm going to rain on your potential parade. You're a pretty smart guy and I'm sure you know how to plan for the worst, as that is exactly what you need to do when making risky decisions such as these.

Now I'm just assuming things, but when you say "sustaining a home for your girlfriend" does this mean paying for all of her expenses? Have you two sat down and seriously talked about this? Remember that you two should be supporting each other; sharing a home with somebody else shouldn't be a one-way street unless you have more than enough funds to pull it off, which you obviously don't. What are you plans as far as financials go?

No, LOL. I'm a gentleman (see how I turned this to a compliment to me), but not to go as far as that. I do plan to get the biggest paycheck I can, planning for the worst, given the case.

Rob got some big balls if he wants to get that girl preggo pretty soon. XD

That's one of the things I do want to put off for a while, I'm not ready for that yet, mentally and financially.

It'd be pretty hard to impregante someone without testicles.

Oh you.

This thread interests me. All of the advice you guys have shared, has also helped me. Thanks!

Unfortunately, Rob, I can't give you any advice, since I haven't experienced any of this. But all of that might change in the next year.

Good luck to you, man.

No problem Javi. I needed the advice as well and I'm happy this has helped you. Best of luck to you too.

i am 20, 21 in a few weeks, and my boyfriend is 20 (haha robbing the cradle by a few months...)

we have been living together for around 7 months now. when we moved in together, we had been dating for around 9 months. we are both full-time students in college and have jobs on campus.

i wouldn't say i'm going to start a family with him. we got an apartment with 2 bedrooms (rent is cheap here; we're paying about $325 a month, each). we split everything evenly...he buys what he wants for groceries and i buy what i want. the only utilities we pay for that aren't included in rent are electricity and internet (is that a utility nowadays?).

it has worked out well, honestly. it sort of fell into our laps. his old roommates wanted to kick him out (not that he's bad in any way, shape or form; he didn't get along with one of them) and i needed somewhere to live after the sorority house. i had been originally planning on living with my brother, but this just sorta worked out.

this is going to sound weird, but we have different bedrooms. we kind of keep our lives separate except for weekends because we are focused on studies. i love having my own room honestly, i can just go in there and hermit away, and he can do the same. it works for us. keeps us out of each other's hair when we're focused.

don't move in with her with the intention of starting a family, honestly. keep in mind leases are generally 1 yr unless you manage to get a speshul contract. i'd say just try it out and see how it goes. it's a BIG step to take but it'll help you mature and give you a sense of responsibility. let's be honest. if you're gonna be splitting rent with your cousin, it'd likely be no different than splitting rent with your gf. (and maybe you can get a 1 bedroom if you're comfortable with that.)

but be wary. i've heard horror stories of people signing leases and running into trouble down the road and someone getting stuck paying the full rent price! i'm so fortunate that my bf and i get along so well and love each other so much (sounds kitschy, huh? but it's true; we never fight unless i'm grumpy). if she was an on again off again gf, it may not be such a great idea unless you guys can prove you can keep a stable relationship beforehand. (not trying to imply anything here. just saying you don't want that kind of repeat behavior when you're living together.)

I appreciate the late advice!

Sounds like an exciting experience. I don't dig the whole separate rooms thing, and we wouldn't have the money to rent a 2 bedroom apartment anyway lol.

Thanks for the heads up!

There has been a huge debate over "living together before marriage pros and cons" esp. for Chinese community(I think)
and usually this would be a hard decision for the girls side, which greatly involved how her family deal with it, how would people in her social network think of her (of course, if she cares, and greatly depend on culture background)

I think both of you should have know the pros and cons of living together before marriage(sounds too serious), that's why you ask for more input.

There has been a huge debate over "living together before marriage pros and cons" esp. for Chinese community(I think)
and usually this would be a hard decision for the girls side, which greatly involved how her family deal with it, how would people in her social network think of her (of course, if she cares, and greatly depend on culture background)

I think both of you should have know the pros and cons of living together before marriage(sounds too serious), that's why you ask for more input.

I don't understand your post. Parents and family have nothing to do with the issue at hand here, haha. Yeah, I've kinda explained which are the points we aren't really coming to an agreement.