The Five Love Languages: What's your language?

The Five Love Languages are an internationally-famous set of ways individuals express and interpret love, defined and outlined by marriage counselor Dr. Gary Chapman. He proposes that everyone has a "love language," or a primary way in which they express and interpret love. Of the numerous ways we all display our love and affection, five categories (listed below) were created to encompass these methods, all of which have proved to be universal and comprehensive:

The Five Love Languages

What if you could say or do just the right thing guaranteed to make that special someone feel loved? The secret is learning the right love language! Millions of couples have learned the simple way to express their feelings and bring joy back into marriage: The Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman’s New York Times bestseller!Words of Affirmation—Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.


Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

So what is YOUR love language? Luckily you don't have to buy the book to find out. Here you can take a 30-Second Quiz or make a Personal Profile. The 30-Second Quiz includes one simple question, which determines which love language you most immediately identify with. However, most people do not embody just one language; in fact, many people have found they strongly identify with two and sometimes three of the languages on the list. If you wish to discover which language(s) you especially identify with, make a quick Personal Profile (it should take you between 10-15 minutes). There you will be asked to choose one option in a pair of statements which you most strongly agree with, the result of which will be a comprehensive analysis of your choices in the determination of your specific language(s).

Enjoy! Also, keep in mind that, while Gary Chapman discovered that most people are drawn to those who speak a different love language than their own, love is a very dynamic and situationally-individual emotion, and thus such a conclusion does not include even a majority of relationships. Regardless, the most important aspect of this exercise is to determine which love language(s) you speak as a means to help you better understand your outward demonstrations of love. Have fun!

Words of Affirmation.

Not like I'll ever get in a serious relationship.

For me, it's quality-time. I never thought 'touch' was a huge aspect. I've been in several long-distanced relationships, and though they never worked out, I manage to still be able to contact half of the people I was with, pretty nice girls.. And as far as dating goes, I always preferred girls that could switch a conversation and make things interesting. So not every day is the same conversations over and over. I enjoy talking to others, but I'd rather let them speak. Sometimes, I don't speak as much, and people look back at me and say "Khoi, you paying attention?", and I'd scratch my head and feel pretty bad about it. :/

I used to think words meant a lot, but you might say things in the spur of the moment, but not mean it. Have I felt that way at times? Probably. Have the girls I been with felt that way? Maybe. But I really don't think words means too much, it's how much time they're willing you dedicate their time to you that makes it worthwhile. Even if it's for an hour a week, it makes me happy.

EDIT: Some of the girls I dated with, however, are really similar to me in terms of how we think. But they seem like the types that would party constantly, and though I enjoy drinking, I wouldn't like that. I don't go to every party out there, etc. Sometimes, I think I can be too picky, but I'm not really looking for anyone right now anyways. I have too much stuff to focus on.

Quality time. Strangely, it goes both ways now that I think about it. I've always thought I simply was being overly clingy, though.

Quality Time, apparently.

However, I think that profile quiz is flawed. If you are in a relationship, it doesn't really ask about your "Love Language", but a combination of your own and your significant other.
I mean, many of the statements you're supposed to agree or disagree with are of the form "I love it when my spouse does X" - but what if s/he doesn't? My primary language might be Gifts, but if my spouse never brings me any, how can I select "I still get excited opening a gift from my spouse"? Or it might be Physical Touch, but I can't truthfully say "I love that my husband can't keep his hands off me" because, unfortunately, he can and does...

Anyway, they should make it clear one should try to answer the questions as if they were hypothetical ("I would love for my spouse to do X") about your perfect dream-spouse, not factual questions about your current partner.

Touchy-feely for me

Words of affirmation.

I can identify with all but receiving gifts and acts of service.

I have my own theory of love that stretches across the middle three categories and includes things he doesn't mention at all. I don't think Chapman meant for these to be very solid, because any one person doesn't just fall within a certain branch of the Five Languages. There's always a spectrum and limiting yourself to a single defining category isn't descriptive. For this reason, I'm not even going to bother taking the test.

[spoiler=]I'm not promoting my theory. You don't need to know it either. I know where I stand and that's enough for me. Oversimplifying what shouldn't be simplified is pretty shallow IMO. Criticizing me because I didn't take the test is also unnecessary and uncalled for.[/spoiler] V V V V

I can identify with all but receiving gifts and acts of service.

Same here! I'm a Quality Time person by far, with Physical Touch nearly as important and Words of Affirmation playing a large role.

I have my own theory of love that stretches across the middle three categories and includes things he doesn't mention at all. I don't think Chapman meant for these to be very solid, because any one person doesn't just fall within a certain branch of the Five Languages. There's always a spectrum and limiting yourself to a single defining category isn't descriptive. For this reason, I'm not even going to bother taking the test.

Right, because close-mindedly refusing to take someone's test and give their theories a chance really speaks towards others giving a damn about your own.

IMO

Quality time>Physical Touch>Words of Affirmation>Acts of Service>Gifts.

Acts of Service fits me best, even though the quiz gave me Words of Affection.