2011-06-16, 07:12 PM
Listening to strangers' conversations can be highly amusing, and a great way of killing time. What are some memorable verbal exchanges that you have overheard?
I'll start. Mine's a bit of a story.
One day, I was walking across the university campus to class. I happened to come up behind a group (a gaggle?) of girls who were talking loudly and expressively, and more importantly, blocking the entire sidewalk. After stomping my feet loudly, they still didn't move out of the way, so I resigned myself to being late for class.
They were your typical sorority girls (we have a LOT of those where I attend college) and probably had about three brain cells apiece that huddled together for warmth. They were the kind of girls who end every sentence clause on an up-tone. It sounded? Like they were asking a bunch of questions? And they weren't sure? Of the answers?
Here is what I overheard.
"Haaay? Ashley? I got soooo wasted last night."
Ashley snaps her gum obnoxiously. "Noooo waaaay! Me toooooo! I, like, woke up? In some guy's room? And I was all like, ohhh my goddd."
The third girl speaks up. (She sounds slightly more neurotic than the other two.)
"Guysguysguys. I went to my health class the other day? And we learned that beer? Has a lot of calories."
The first two stare at each other and say something that sounds like a starving cat.
"Wuhhhhhhh?"
The one named Ashley speaks up. "I'm gonna stop drinking. I don't wanna get fat." Her muffin-top gyrates with determination. Meanwhile, I decide that laughter was a bad idea as a large volume of cappuccino rockets out my nostrils. The other girls are babbling something about celery, granola, and abstaining from alcoholic delights.
The fourth girl, who has said nothing until now, speaks up.
"Wait, Brittany. If you drink so much that you throw up, the calories don't count, right?"
There is a long silence as four sets of brain cells wake up from years of hibernation. I make a silent vow to always wear a microphone in the future. A burst of chatter marks a groundbreaking advancement in evolution as the girls enthusiastically agree with their friend.
Meanwhile, I take a detour to the bathroom to clean spilled coffee off my shirt and to blow my nose.
_____________
I chaperoned a fifth-grade field trip last month. As I walked past a group of boys, one of them said, "He's just mad because his penis fell off."
_________________
All of this is taken from smogon, from this thread http://www.smogon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3449649
I'll start. Mine's a bit of a story.
One day, I was walking across the university campus to class. I happened to come up behind a group (a gaggle?) of girls who were talking loudly and expressively, and more importantly, blocking the entire sidewalk. After stomping my feet loudly, they still didn't move out of the way, so I resigned myself to being late for class.
They were your typical sorority girls (we have a LOT of those where I attend college) and probably had about three brain cells apiece that huddled together for warmth. They were the kind of girls who end every sentence clause on an up-tone. It sounded? Like they were asking a bunch of questions? And they weren't sure? Of the answers?
Here is what I overheard.
"Haaay? Ashley? I got soooo wasted last night."
Ashley snaps her gum obnoxiously. "Noooo waaaay! Me toooooo! I, like, woke up? In some guy's room? And I was all like, ohhh my goddd."
The third girl speaks up. (She sounds slightly more neurotic than the other two.)
"Guysguysguys. I went to my health class the other day? And we learned that beer? Has a lot of calories."
The first two stare at each other and say something that sounds like a starving cat.
"Wuhhhhhhh?"
The one named Ashley speaks up. "I'm gonna stop drinking. I don't wanna get fat." Her muffin-top gyrates with determination. Meanwhile, I decide that laughter was a bad idea as a large volume of cappuccino rockets out my nostrils. The other girls are babbling something about celery, granola, and abstaining from alcoholic delights.
The fourth girl, who has said nothing until now, speaks up.
"Wait, Brittany. If you drink so much that you throw up, the calories don't count, right?"
There is a long silence as four sets of brain cells wake up from years of hibernation. I make a silent vow to always wear a microphone in the future. A burst of chatter marks a groundbreaking advancement in evolution as the girls enthusiastically agree with their friend.
Meanwhile, I take a detour to the bathroom to clean spilled coffee off my shirt and to blow my nose.
_____________
I chaperoned a fifth-grade field trip last month. As I walked past a group of boys, one of them said, "He's just mad because his penis fell off."
_________________
All of this is taken from smogon, from this thread http://www.smogon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3449649
