I Present To You The Beerbrella

Ingenious. A crowning glory of American wit and creativity. [Source]

Explanation: The present invention provides a small umbrella ("Beerbrella") which may be removably attached to a beverage container in order to shade the beverage container from the direct rays of the sun. The apparatus of the present invention has particular application for use in sunny locations (e.g., poolside, at the bear, outdoor bars, and the like). However, the apparatus of the present invention may also be used to prevent rain or other precipitation from contaminating a beverage.

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>at the bear

This thread makes me feel like kicking back and cracking open a bear.

You guys are unbearable. Maybe at the bear is an old acronym for a gym society like the YMCA.... except BEAR... could be more red neck and southern hospital in nature. If that's possible.

>bear