2010-07-13, 10:56 PM
Mira was drunk. Sober enough to know better but drunk enough to not care. At least for now. It was just another Tuesday afternoon - a beautiful day with clear skies and a shining sun. Not that the sun tends to have other appearances when the clouds are hiding. Days like these are Mira's favorite for drinking. It's five o'clock somewhere. She loves having the Cantina to herself. The slobs are at their blue-collar jobs, the yuppies are at their cubicle hellholes, and the funemployed think too highly of themselves to stoop to drinking in a bar at this time of day. And that miserable cover band doesn't start until eight. Had she ever heard them play something other than that one song? Doubtful...
She liked to let her imagination loose with nothing but the sound of the bartender wiping glasses to a squeaky clean to distract her. Advanced calculus, how to fend off a swarm of velociraptors with only a dry erase marker and a pillow, why Swerve edits his posts, just how many houses that damn chipmunk has made in spots around the outside of her house. These are the kinds of things she liked to ponder on her drinking days of solace. Deep thoughts. But she couldn't think any of her deep thoughts today. There was a stranger in her midst. All she could do was stare.
He was down the bar, face-down, like the answers he needed were teasing him from deep inside his glass of scotch. Decked in all black, with strawberry blond... or maybe it's ginger red hair. Mira couldn't tell. Not that it mattered. A few more drinks and it would be whatever color she wanted. She wished he would just piss off. He was distracting her from her thoughts with his glittering face. It looks like someone had chiseled it from stone. Maybe he could have his head ripped off by a lion. But that would mean there was a man-eating lion in the bar. Hm. Mira didn't know how she would handle that in her current state. She'd only considered scenarios for raptors. One more Irish Car Bomb and she would work up the courage to confront the stranger and regain her empty Cantina. She had a few scary stories about yeast infections that would probably scare him off. One seat at a time, she slid closer to him.
"HEY YO-ichiGO" What a weird hiccup. That one really came out funny.
"Uh. Sure, if that's what you want to call me. Hi?"
He had something on his back. She hadn't noticed it until she got this close. Must've been because of the rum. Damn rum. Every time. Was he a hunchback? Maybe it was a tumor. Lost a bet? She followed the thing down. It went all the way down his back and stopped just before the floor. It was black, too. Maybe he was a man-penguin. Curiosity derailed her from her pissed-off-bouncer act.
"Two questions, hun. What the hell are you trying so hard to find down in the bottom of your drink and what the hell is up with your back?"
"Two answers then. Unless the bartender slipped me something, there's nothing in the bottom of my drink. This is just how I get when I'm on the road and out of the spotlight for too long. As for your second question, it's just my sword."
A sword? No way. Who walks around with a sword these days? This man was getting a little too interesting, and - oh god - attractive, a little too fast. It must be due to the tequila. Damn tequila. Every time.
"Well Ichigo, I'm Mira," she told him with her finger lightly circling the lip of her nearly empty White Russian. "And I was wondering... can I touch that huge sword of yours?" It was so shiny. She had to. Shiny things really satisfy Mira. The bigger the better. Yup. Big and shiny.
"There are two conditions to touching my sword. First, you'll have to let me buy you a drink. Let's start with that." A free drink? What a guy. The only other person within a thousand miles drinking on a Tuesday afternoon and he's a gentleman. Unbelievable. "Hey, bartender! can I get a fifth of vodka for the lady?"
"It's like you read my mind. I'm gonna go make some more room for all that" Ah, bathroom. Pee, whizz, piss, tinkle, tsssss. Always satisfying. Mira wondered why that was for a minute. Do velociraptors take satisfying leaks? What if they attack me while I'm in the bathroom? She would have to think about that tomorrow. The fifth is calling. "So what's your second condition?"
"I think I might get in trouble if I whip out my sword here. Mind if show it to you at your place?"
Shiny. Irresistible. Why not? Such a gentleman. They left the Cantina and headed for Mira's place a few blocks away. What an interesting Tuesday afternoon it had become. And then... nothing.
The alarm clock on her cell phone went off. Oh god. So bright. So sore. It feels like a bed and it looks like a bed. It's probably the right bed. Mira reached to shut up her stupid phone.
ONE NEW MESSAGE
It was from Ceddy, her sassy gay friend. "GIRLFRIEND, I SAW YOU LEAVING THE CANTINA WITH CARROT TOP. I KNEW YOU WERE KINKY, BUT DAMN GIRL. HAVE A LITTLE RESPECT FOR YOURSELF."
It must have been roofies. Damn roofies. Every time.
She liked to let her imagination loose with nothing but the sound of the bartender wiping glasses to a squeaky clean to distract her. Advanced calculus, how to fend off a swarm of velociraptors with only a dry erase marker and a pillow, why Swerve edits his posts, just how many houses that damn chipmunk has made in spots around the outside of her house. These are the kinds of things she liked to ponder on her drinking days of solace. Deep thoughts. But she couldn't think any of her deep thoughts today. There was a stranger in her midst. All she could do was stare.
He was down the bar, face-down, like the answers he needed were teasing him from deep inside his glass of scotch. Decked in all black, with strawberry blond... or maybe it's ginger red hair. Mira couldn't tell. Not that it mattered. A few more drinks and it would be whatever color she wanted. She wished he would just piss off. He was distracting her from her thoughts with his glittering face. It looks like someone had chiseled it from stone. Maybe he could have his head ripped off by a lion. But that would mean there was a man-eating lion in the bar. Hm. Mira didn't know how she would handle that in her current state. She'd only considered scenarios for raptors. One more Irish Car Bomb and she would work up the courage to confront the stranger and regain her empty Cantina. She had a few scary stories about yeast infections that would probably scare him off. One seat at a time, she slid closer to him.
"HEY YO-ichiGO" What a weird hiccup. That one really came out funny.
"Uh. Sure, if that's what you want to call me. Hi?"
He had something on his back. She hadn't noticed it until she got this close. Must've been because of the rum. Damn rum. Every time. Was he a hunchback? Maybe it was a tumor. Lost a bet? She followed the thing down. It went all the way down his back and stopped just before the floor. It was black, too. Maybe he was a man-penguin. Curiosity derailed her from her pissed-off-bouncer act.
"Two questions, hun. What the hell are you trying so hard to find down in the bottom of your drink and what the hell is up with your back?"
"Two answers then. Unless the bartender slipped me something, there's nothing in the bottom of my drink. This is just how I get when I'm on the road and out of the spotlight for too long. As for your second question, it's just my sword."
A sword? No way. Who walks around with a sword these days? This man was getting a little too interesting, and - oh god - attractive, a little too fast. It must be due to the tequila. Damn tequila. Every time.
"Well Ichigo, I'm Mira," she told him with her finger lightly circling the lip of her nearly empty White Russian. "And I was wondering... can I touch that huge sword of yours?" It was so shiny. She had to. Shiny things really satisfy Mira. The bigger the better. Yup. Big and shiny.
"There are two conditions to touching my sword. First, you'll have to let me buy you a drink. Let's start with that." A free drink? What a guy. The only other person within a thousand miles drinking on a Tuesday afternoon and he's a gentleman. Unbelievable. "Hey, bartender! can I get a fifth of vodka for the lady?"
"It's like you read my mind. I'm gonna go make some more room for all that" Ah, bathroom. Pee, whizz, piss, tinkle, tsssss. Always satisfying. Mira wondered why that was for a minute. Do velociraptors take satisfying leaks? What if they attack me while I'm in the bathroom? She would have to think about that tomorrow. The fifth is calling. "So what's your second condition?"
"I think I might get in trouble if I whip out my sword here. Mind if show it to you at your place?"
Shiny. Irresistible. Why not? Such a gentleman. They left the Cantina and headed for Mira's place a few blocks away. What an interesting Tuesday afternoon it had become. And then... nothing.
The alarm clock on her cell phone went off. Oh god. So bright. So sore. It feels like a bed and it looks like a bed. It's probably the right bed. Mira reached to shut up her stupid phone.
ONE NEW MESSAGE
It was from Ceddy, her sassy gay friend. "GIRLFRIEND, I SAW YOU LEAVING THE CANTINA WITH CARROT TOP. I KNEW YOU WERE KINKY, BUT DAMN GIRL. HAVE A LITTLE RESPECT FOR YOURSELF."
It must have been roofies. Damn roofies. Every time.
![[Image: sassy-gay-friend.jpg]](http://www.homorazzi.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/sassy-gay-friend.jpg)
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