Poll: How should one communicate with friends who infrequently initiate conversation?
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Initiate conversation
80.00%
8 80.00%
Do not initiate conversation
20.00%
2 20.00%
Other (explain in post)
0%
0 0%
Total 10 vote(s) 100%
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Poll: To Text or Not to Text?
#1
I find myself asking this question fairly often with a number of my friends, all for different reasons. While the vast majority are friends who I text/text me ad random, with no qualms over potential infrequency of communication, there are those who I do like to talk to on a more regular basis. After reflecting about the way conversation is initiated, I've realized these friends who I desire to talk to fall into two groups: (1) the smaller of the two includes those who initiate conversation and thus I don't text because I expect them to text me, or those who initiate conversation with myself just as frequently as I do with them, and (2) the larger portion which includes those who I, again, still want to talk to, but rarely initiate conversation and thus I find myself as the first texter whenever I want to talk.

Now you'll see I've attached a poll to this thread, which essentially focuses on just the aforementioned second group of people who rarely initiate conversation but are those to whom I want to text. What do you think?

Also, while I used "I" throughout the above, this situation is by no means individual. I made this thread because I felt this is a question posed by many with regards to their variable communication patterns.

So, tl;dr: Using texting as an specific example, how do you think one should communicate to those they desire to talk to when those people infrequently initiate conversation, yet are not purposely foregoing conversation and are still considered good friends? Should one start conversation a number of times within a set time period to hopefully spark a motivation in the other to start communication themselves? If so, how long/frequent should such communication attempts last? If not, should one purposely not initiate conversation just to see if the other will, bearing in mind they may be doing the same?

Discuss away!
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#2
I'm not really sure what you're addressing here.

If I find myself repeatedly trying to initiate conversation only to fall flat after a few lines, I would just leave it alone for a while - maybe the person's not in the mood to talk. On the other hand, if the other person's perfectly willing to keep up the conversation once it's started, I see no issue with being the one to initiate it.
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#3
Lucida Wrote:I'm not really sure what you're addressing here.

If I find myself repeatedly trying to initiate conversation only to fall flat after a few lines, I would just leave it alone for a while - maybe the person's not in the mood to talk. On the other hand, if the other person's perfectly willing to keep up the conversation once it's started, I see no issue with being the one to initiate it.

That's not what he's asking. He's asking about people that are good friends and that are perfectly willing to chat, but never call/text you themselves. You have to be the one to start the conversation.

I'm actually one of those people myself. I'm a decent conversationalist, but I don't usually have the urge just to talk to other people about whatever. The only person who I regularly start conversations with for no reason at all is my best friend. I think it's just a part of the person's personality, and there's not much you can do to change that.

...I don't even have texting, but I don't think the form of communication matters.
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#4
Yeah, that was what my point at the end was about, Dusk - these questions aren't limited to just texting.

Thanks for your response as well, regarding this just being a personality issue. I've been told I over-analyze a lot, and chances are the specific cases of this happening in my life are nothing more than simple "it's just my personality."

Does anyone else have another take/other comments?
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