Is it wrong to monitor your childs text messages?

Absolutely not. This is a blatant invasion of privacy, and just because you're a minor doesn't mean you shouldn't have the same rights as everyone else. The problem with parents these days is some of them think this kind of behaviour is acceptable. The authoritarian behaviour parents believe to be acceptable these days is sickening. Parents are GUIDES in a child's life, and I would happily call anyone who buys this a horrible parent.

...and I would happily call anyone who buys this a horrible parent.

^5.

Absolutely not. This is a blatant invasion of privacy, and just because you're a minor doesn't mean you shouldn't have the same rights as everyone else. The problem with parents these days is some of them think this kind of behaviour is acceptable. The authoritarian behaviour parents believe to be acceptable these days is sickening. Parents are GUIDES in a child's life, and I would happily call anyone who buys this a horrible parent.

If the parents pay the bill then yes... if the child refuses stop paying the bill.

What do you have to hide, if there's a text message you don't want your parents to see then theirs a reason why they shouldn't see it and in all honesty that's probably a REASON for them to see it...

If there's no reason a parent should have worry about what a child texts then they'll stop checking the messages. In all honesty a parent would only check the child's message if they think there's a problem.

Absolutely not. This is a blatant invasion of privacy, and just because you're a minor doesn't mean you shouldn't have the same rights as everyone else. The problem with parents these days is some of them think this kind of behaviour is acceptable. The authoritarian behaviour parents believe to be acceptable these days is sickening. Parents are GUIDES in a child's life, and I would happily call anyone who buys this a horrible parent.

If the parents pay the bill then yes... if the child refuses stop paying the bill.

What do you have to hide, if there's a text message you don't want your parents to see then theirs a reason why they shouldn't see it and in all honesty that's probably a REASON for them to see it...

If there's no reason a parent should have worry about what a child texts then they'll stop checking the messages. In all honesty a parent would only check the child's message if they think there's a problem.

your logic is flawed, people just have personal conversations and want to keep it between them and one other person or share somthing that the parrent wouldn't understand, for example. say your parrents are highley religious and you now share a different faith but can't tell them, so this would be your place to let the stress go instead of build up. and just like rick said, its a blatent invasion of privacy.

parrents nowadays think they can "TELL" there kid instead of have an actual conversation and maybe find their own logic to be flawed.

If the parents pay the bill then yes... if the child refuses stop paying the bill.

What do you have to hide, if there's a text message you don't want your parents to see then theirs a reason why they shouldn't see it and in all honesty that's probably a REASON for them to see it...

If you had a chat with your best friend where she admitted to you that she had been raped last weekend and she wanted to keep it between you two, would you like your parents to know about this stuff? (Of course, she has told the police and her parents, else you would have done it for her.)

If there's no reason a parent should have worry about what a child texts then they'll stop checking the messages. In all honesty a parent would only check the child's message if they think there's a problem.

You're jumping from should to would here, which is not really a good thing to do.

Besides, there is no absolute answer to the question "When do parents think there's a problem?". If a girl has her period, or her boyfriend broke up, she would react with more negative emotions than normal. The parents would usually think that there's something behind all of this, and check her text messages. Voilà! Now your parents might look through your ex-bfs preferred sex-positions and discussions around why he felt that you weren't the right for him. As this is natural in a teenager's life, do parents need to learn about this?

As a final note, if you think your child has a problem, I would assume the best thing to do is ask if there's anything wrong. If yes, don't ask what the issue is, but ask what you two (parents) can help them with.

your logic is flawed, people just have personal conversations and want to keep it between them and one other person or share somthing that the parrent wouldn't understand, for example. say your parrents are highley religious and you now share a different faith but can't tell them, so this would be your place to let the stress go instead of build up. and just like rick said, its a blatent invasion of privacy.

parrents nowadays think they can "TELL" there kid instead of have an actual conversation and maybe find their own logic to be flawed.

Yeah sooner or later they're going to know...if there is something serious within a text message (highly doubtful) that is something that should be known to a parent (not meaningless drible but actual important information that may need a parents interference) then they're going to find out sooner or later. Hell I'll stay with your example and tell you that I have different "relgious veiws: then my parents and i have a good enough relationship with them to not only have told them but to have had a conversation about it and have it be accepted, but maybe that's because i don't hide in a shadow of my cell phone and use text messages to tell people how I feel but i actually physically confront people if i have a problem with something... then again most people love to hide so I suppose i can't just factor out average human actions.

Look if you don't have something to hide this does not matter. If you're to much of a coward to actually do something when you have a problem and just "run away" from them and take the most convent and softest route then you need to be "guided" by someone who can help you because you're obviously to weak and/or stupid to make proper decisions, and who can do that? A parent!

If you had a chat with your best friend where she admitted to you that she had been raped last weekend and she wanted to keep it between you two, would you like your parents to know about this stuff? (Of course, she has told the police and her parents, else you would have done it for her.)


You're jumping from should to would here, which is not really a good thing to do.

Besides, there is no absolute answer to the question "When do parents think there's a problem?". If a girl has her period, or her boyfriend broke up, she would react with more negative emotions than normal. The parents would usually think that there's something behind all of this, and check her text messages. Voilà! Now your parents might look through your ex-bfs preferred sex-positions and discussions around why he felt that you weren't the right for him. As this is natural in a teenager's life, do parents need to learn about this?

As a final note, if you think your child has a problem, I would assume the best thing to do is ask if there's anything wrong. If yes, don't ask what the issue is, but ask what you two (parents) can help them with.

Ya know, you seem to make the assumption that if something "tragic" where to happen it being known by an outside party will be immediate horror. In all honesty what "bad" thing would come from my parents knowing my friend was raped. She gets comforted more, she has more people she can talk to about it, what exactly?

And I'm not sure if i read that correctly but... did you just ask if a parent should know whether or not their daughter is having sex? If i had a daughter who's boyfriend was talking about sex positions I'd be a little flustered and question it. I'm not just going to go... "oh so you might have underage sex for the first time... make sure to widen your hips!" because it's natural teenage actions.

As to what a parent should do if there's a problem that's more in personal parental control and how you feel about it. What should be done is more your opinion then a fact because if a child has something that's a serious problem like a drug addiction or a pregnancy then it's doubtful the child would be honest and allow a parent to just give them advise because they probably wouldn't provide accurate information.

Intense invasion of privacy.
Unless there is a reason of suspicion, no.

Who smells future court case?

Related... somehow

OT: this is a very big invasion of pryvacy and threfore it should be Illegal.

This is a double-edged sword of a conversation. Yes, everyone has rights and needs for privacy... but it's also a parent's right to protect their children.

I'm not saying that parents shouldn't be hovering around you every time you text... but at the same time I'm not saying that parents should not stand around doing nothing and not being aware of what their children are doing. It's a fine line, but I believe that there should be some disclosure and trust from both sides.

I tl;dr'd the vast majority of posts above.


If the child is under 12 years of age, it goes by how much I trust them based on their maturity. And yes, I've seen 9 year olds with iphones AND debit cards (wtfrichkids!?).
If they're over 12, I'm less inclined on intruding their privacy. Be it cellphone, diary or their desks, that all is their space now. I have to accept that my kids have grown up at this point and therefore I should trust them. And of course, they have to understand that privacy is a privilege, not a right.

You make me glad my mother isn't like this.

Children need their own freedom as well, you're not showing a capable example of this.

If you were being sarcastic, I couldn't tell.

This thread was originally in the Funhouse. And no, I probably wouldn't use any program like this to stalk my kid's phone, though in this day and age I understand completely why a parent would.

This is a blatant invasion of privacy, and just because you're a minor doesn't mean you shouldn't have the same rights as everyone else.

I disagree.

Your kid should get their own job + cellphone. 15 years old is a good start to learn some manual labor

Ya know, you seem to make the assumption that if something "tragic" where to happen it being known by an outside party will be immediate horror. In all honesty what "bad" thing would come from my parents knowing my friend was raped. She gets comforted more, she has more people she can talk to about it, what exactly?

And I'm not sure if i read that correctly but... did you just ask if a parent should know whether or not their daughter is having sex? If i had a daughter who's boyfriend was talking about sex positions I'd be a little flustered and question it. I'm not just going to go... "oh so you might have underage sex for the first time... make sure to widen your hips!" because it's natural teenage actions.

As to what a parent should do if there's a problem that's more in personal parental control and how you feel about it. What should be done is more your opinion then a fact because if a child has something that's a serious problem like a drug addiction or a pregnancy then it's doubtful the child would be honest and allow a parent to just give them advise because they probably wouldn't provide accurate information.

If your parents know about your friend being raped in this case, then that's bad for several reasons: You have "lied" to your friend, at least she would think so. That would make it rather hard to trust you, and you will possibly not be friends anymore. Second: People feel guilt about being raped, and when more people know in the early phase, you feel even more hurt. Consider it as an amplifier for suicide-thoughts and actions. Third: Not all parents are smart, and may tell this to others, increasing #2. Fourth: Though already stated earlier, it's harder for the person to trust someone if this happens. Generally bad to do with someone with such a big issue.

Not exactly what I'm asking: I'm talking about legal sex.

I'd absolutely support this. As far as I'm concerned, most 15 year olds shouldn't even NEED a Cell-phone. Regardless, and if they should, the parent should get this. This isn't an "invasion of privacy", this is Good-parenting which most American's don't even do. The next thing you want is your 15 year old sending a nude to some kid then getting into a court case about how your kid distributed child pornography. Also, if a parent is PAYING for the Cell-phone, THEY can so whatever they want and the kid should abide by that.

The way the OP posed the question makes this absolutely wrong but adding onto what Berzerk said, and in somewhat of agreement, I think that if the parent announces their intentions upon providing the child with the cellphone and only gives it to them under the condition that they comply, then it's not such a bad thing. Rick is right in that parents are guides but you can't guide someone if you're completely oblivious. Regardless, even under the agreement conditions, spying on every text message is wrong and this should only be used in extreme cases and after confronting the child and asking for an explanation first, and even then it shouldn't be used a tool for punishment but for understanding and opening conversation.

Lmfao. Texting too much = going to be a loser and john when he grows up? What a joke. I text a lot, I text around 500+ a month. Kids text a lot, they text lots and lots of people and talk a lot via texts. Write a letter? I hope you're trolling now.

That was posted while this was a Funhouse thread, so I've edited my post so anyone reading it from now on knows that I didn't mean it seriously.

...Plus, I *am* a 15 year old with a cellphone. I don't text nearly that much, though I do have unlimited texting.

I tl;dr'd the vast majority of posts above.


If the child is under 12 years of age, it goes by how much I trust them based on their maturity. And yes, I've seen 9 year olds with iphones AND debit cards (wtfrichkids!?).
If they're over 12, I'm less inclined on intruding their privacy. Be it cellphone, diary or their desks, that all is their space now. I have to accept that my kids have grown up at this point and therefore I should trust them. And of course, they have to understand that privacy is a privilege, not a right.

Sorry but WHAT?! Privacy is a basic right, not a privilege. Privacy is a basic fundamental human right. no one has the RIGHT to know whats going on in your own mind or whats on your thoughts.

I'd absolutely support this. As far as I'm concerned, most 15 year olds shouldn't even NEED a Cell-phone. Regardless, and if they should, the parent should get this. This isn't an "invasion of privacy", this is Good-parenting which most American's don't even do. The next thing you want is your 15 year old sending a nude to some kid then getting into a court case about how your kid distributed child pornography. Also, if a parent is PAYING for the Cell-phone, THEY can so whatever they want and the kid should abide by that.

as far as I'm concerned my child can loose their virginity at age 12 and be sexting all day. and I don't think sexting should fall under child pornography. it wouldn't even be a problem if paranoid parents didn't monitor their kids .