The funny IRC topic

I used to moderate the second largest Metroid Forum on the web, and we had a topic just like this one and it seemed to get a lot of attention. Matter of fact, it never really died. All of my fellow IRCers, help me fill this topic with hilarity, you know you want to.

I'll start things off. One of these is from a random IRC chat that I've visited over the years, but I will start posting funny stuff from #southperry as it arises. God knows there's plenty.

From Bash.org

Code:

<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?

From #samus.co.uk

Code:

<RandomExtremity> I really need to sleep
<Doctor_Omega> As do I
* RandomExtremity slaps RandomExtremity around a bit with a large trout
* RandomExtremity (randomextr@12.165.251.130) Quit (Quit: trouted)
<mr_flea> looks like he was fishing for trouble
<Doctor_Omega> Oh do ho ho ho.
<Doctor_Omega> I slapped my knee, flea.
<Doctor_Omega> Look at that
<Doctor_Omega> I'm a poet and didn't know it, too.
<Doctor_Omega> Oh god
<Doctor_Omega> brb killing myself
<mr_flea> please do

From Bash.org

Code:

<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<MooseOnDaLoose> platypus.
<goatboy> er?
<MooseOnDaLoose> platypus.
<goatboy> and?
<MooseOnDaLoose> platypus.
<goatboy> ...
<MooseOnDaLoose> platypus.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<goatboy> bastard

:3

www.bash.org

Get the fuck out. Also, your quote isn't funny at all.

Aw, there we go. Quotes are labeled where they came from. Is Bacon happy now? So I took a couple from Bash, and now the world is going to end, right? And Bash totally isn't IRC quotes, right? There's plenty of good shit from #southperry every time I go in there. The first quotes were to get the topic started. But, I digress, allow me to apologize to everyone for thinking my quote was funny. New rule for this topic: from now on, it's only funny if Bacon says so.

As far as I'm concerned, you can take your godawful, pisspoor attitude and screw off, pimento.

Because I desperately crave your approval. So I took a couple from Bash, and now the world is going to end, right? And Bash totally isn't IRC quotes, right? There's plenty of good shit from #southperry every time I go in there. The first quotes were to get the topic started. But, as far as I'm concerned, you can take your godawful, pisspoor attitude and screw off, pimento.

You know you're ten years older than him.

You know you're ten years older than him.

Yeah, do you feel good now?

It just seems that whenever someone criticizes you Omega, you completely turn on them and try to make them look stupid. Which is fine because I felt like I deserved it. But when you do it on other users it gives off the impression that you can't really handle honest opinions that aren't sugar coated with gaiety and politeness.

You know you're ten years older than him.

Thanks for that completely irrelevant tidbit.

Yeah, do you feel good now?

I never actually felt bad at all, but thanks for your concern!

More on topic, this just in from #samus.co.uk:

Code:

<Dazuro> when i was about.. five or six
<Dazuro> i was at Sea World and witnessed a walrus with an erection hooting, which i joyfully proclaimed was "him making his happy noises"
<T2DM> XFD
<Dazuro> and now i love sea life of all sorts.. not THAT way, but theres a lot of jokes about it..
<Dazuro> ....
<Dazuro> interesting. <_<
<T2DM> >_>
<T2DM> I'm  glad I'm not a sea creature
* blizzarddog hides his fins

xd

It's okay, I deserved it too.

!assquote

</thread>

It just seems that whenever someone criticizes you Omega, you completely turn on them and try to make them look stupid. Which is fine because I felt like I deserved it.

Turn on them and make them look stupid? I defended myself when someone pulled out, and played their asshat card. Someone posts "get the fuck out" and "Your quote wasn't funny, at all" and don't expect in the very LEAST, a small retaliatory response? Give me a goddamned break, Swerve >_> I posted quotes from Bash and my old IRC channel that I frequented LONG before coming to #southperry, and someone said mine wasn't funny. Big deal. My retaliation wasn't towards the fact that he didn't find my quote funny. My retaliation was towards being prodded. If it's not funny to him, it's not funny to him. What the hell can I do about that? At the very least, that's trolling. Someone posts a topic about something they think is funny, and someone replies with "That's not even funny at all." Wow, really? That's prodding/trolling if I've ever seen it.

But when you do it on other users it gives off the impression that you can't really handle honest opinions that aren't sugar coated with gaiety and politeness.

I've done it to you, and to Bacon. And as you've both already stated, you deserved it. Your words, not mine. Once again, it was a defensive gesture based on a reply someone directed at me. I've taken more constructive and destructive criticism than most anyone I know. So I'm perfectly able to handle it. So he didn't find it funny. Big fucking deal. But being a jackass about it and expecting me not to defend myself is completely ridiculous. I don't need things to be "sugar coated with gaiety and politeness", as you put it. But, I do expect some sort of respect when creating a topic. Prodding me by saying "Your quote wasn't funny, at all", coupled with a "get the f'uck out" in a topic about something I thought was pretty damned funny is like asking a bull to run you flat over after hitting it with a baseball bat. So yeah, all in all, I agree with both of you. You did deserve it.

And I'm done posting off-topic, so good day to you both.

You prank'd me good Mr. Omega.

Almost believed you were serious for a moment there.

Happy New Year's day.