2009-08-17, 01:12 PM
I thought I'd share this with everyone:
cottencandy7176: Who is Kenpachi, again?
Al5ez: ...
Al5ez: The greatest badass in the world of badasses.
Al5ez: Kenpachi is so badass, that even if there were Parallel Universes, he'd be more badass than Parallel Kenpachi.
Al5ez: That's right. Kenpachi is more badass than himself.
Al5ez: That's how badass he is.
Al5ez: With such badassery, it's a wonder how worlds don't combust from it every time he takes a step.
Al5ez: He probably alters time and space because he's so badass.
Pyrus1487: I deem this to be fact
Fact 2:
Kenpachi is the manliest badass to ever come into existence.
His only purpose in life that he deems himself is to KICK ASS AND TAKE NAMES.
He has no real name because he's way too badass for that kind of ****. Therefore, to compensate, he takes the name of the greatest swordsman who ever lived, Kenpachi. However, even such a swordsman can barely justify an ounce of Kenpachi's badassery.
Zaraki, his other name, is a name he took from the district he grew up in. The worst district in all of Soul Society.
He can beat the Protagonist, and everybody knows the Protagonist has Deus Ex Machina. And how does he beat him?
He uses a rusty piece of **** sword WHICH HE CUTS A BUILDING IN HALF WITH.
And then kicks Ichigo's ass without shikai or bankai or anything. Granted, Ichigo wasn't in bankai either, but he needed the help of Hollow Ichigo and Zangetsu. And Hollow Ichigo had to stop Ichigo from bleeding because Ichigo is a *****.
Kenpachi, however, just stood there and took like 20 hits in one go while laughing like a maniac because he loves fighting that much. Then he promptly owns Ichigo.
Man, Kenpachi RULES. The one close to Kenpachi's sheer and pure manliness is Sol Badguy. And Sol Badguy is the protagonist, so he gets all kinds of Deus Ex Machina. Kenpachi doesn't and he's the strongest dude in Bleach. Man, if Kenpachi achieved bankai, the world would implode. That's probably the initial effect, the world implodes. The secondary effect is making the universe implode.
Holy **** Kenpachi is awesome.
Every step he takes, he's so badass, he makes other worlds explode. If you were within 500 miles of his presence, your face would burn off due to the badassery friction within the surrounding radius. I need to make a Random Kenpachi Fact Generator.
And Kenpachi is like a fusion between a Lumberjack and a Pirate. He's got the rugged manliness of a Lumberjack and the pure fearlessness of a Pirate. But 100% CONCENTRATED AWESOME.
Fact 3:
Kenpachi is a God among gods.
We all know Bleach is full of badasses. Renji, Byakuya, Ichigo, Ikkaku, Kisuke, Grimmjow..but not as badass as Kenpachi. Kenpachi is a Captain. Sure, he isn't head captain, but who the hell needs that kind of responsibility? Kenpachi just wants to kick ass. If he wanted to, he could kill everybody in Soul Society. But then he'd get bored because he couldn't kick anybody's ass anymore.
And how did he become Captain? He killed the previous captain in an ultimate duel of destiny. Except it wasn't ultimate because the guy's face ripped in half after glancing at Kenpachi. Kenpachi then took his jacket and never taken it off or washed it since. Think of how many sickly ass bastards he murdered who probably have AIDS. AIDS fears Kenpachi because Kenpachi's cells would just kick AIDS's ass.
And after he became Captain, what happened? That's right. He made the entire squad full of bloodthirsty bastards who want to kill everyone. Ichinose was the previous lieutenant and he was pretty much a whiny little *****. Kenpachi is so hardcore he can take a bunch of whiny little *****es and make the strongest squad ever.
Kenpachi also has ridiculous hair. Now, we all know what the bells and eyepatch are for, but the reason his hair is in a starfish is because more people will be inclined to make fun of them. That is if their intestines didn't strangle them in order to escape Kenpachi's death gaze. But anyway, if people make fun of Kenpachi's hair, he could just slice them in half. Obviously, only real men would make fun of Kenpachi. Which means Kenpachi's hair is actually a clever trap to lure the strongest men into fighting him. Why do you think Ichigo fought Kenpachi? "Wait, that dude has ridiculous hair. I bet I could kick his ass." You bet wrong, Ichigo.
More Kenpachi after these commercials.
I don't know whats sadder, the time the guy took to wrote this, or the time I spent to read it and fall out of my chair laughing.
cottencandy7176: Who is Kenpachi, again?
Al5ez: ...
Al5ez: The greatest badass in the world of badasses.
Al5ez: Kenpachi is so badass, that even if there were Parallel Universes, he'd be more badass than Parallel Kenpachi.
Al5ez: That's right. Kenpachi is more badass than himself.
Al5ez: That's how badass he is.
Al5ez: With such badassery, it's a wonder how worlds don't combust from it every time he takes a step.
Al5ez: He probably alters time and space because he's so badass.
Pyrus1487: I deem this to be fact
Fact 2:
Kenpachi is the manliest badass to ever come into existence.
His only purpose in life that he deems himself is to KICK ASS AND TAKE NAMES.
He has no real name because he's way too badass for that kind of ****. Therefore, to compensate, he takes the name of the greatest swordsman who ever lived, Kenpachi. However, even such a swordsman can barely justify an ounce of Kenpachi's badassery.
Zaraki, his other name, is a name he took from the district he grew up in. The worst district in all of Soul Society.
He can beat the Protagonist, and everybody knows the Protagonist has Deus Ex Machina. And how does he beat him?
He uses a rusty piece of **** sword WHICH HE CUTS A BUILDING IN HALF WITH.
And then kicks Ichigo's ass without shikai or bankai or anything. Granted, Ichigo wasn't in bankai either, but he needed the help of Hollow Ichigo and Zangetsu. And Hollow Ichigo had to stop Ichigo from bleeding because Ichigo is a *****.
Kenpachi, however, just stood there and took like 20 hits in one go while laughing like a maniac because he loves fighting that much. Then he promptly owns Ichigo.
Man, Kenpachi RULES. The one close to Kenpachi's sheer and pure manliness is Sol Badguy. And Sol Badguy is the protagonist, so he gets all kinds of Deus Ex Machina. Kenpachi doesn't and he's the strongest dude in Bleach. Man, if Kenpachi achieved bankai, the world would implode. That's probably the initial effect, the world implodes. The secondary effect is making the universe implode.
Holy **** Kenpachi is awesome.
Every step he takes, he's so badass, he makes other worlds explode. If you were within 500 miles of his presence, your face would burn off due to the badassery friction within the surrounding radius. I need to make a Random Kenpachi Fact Generator.
And Kenpachi is like a fusion between a Lumberjack and a Pirate. He's got the rugged manliness of a Lumberjack and the pure fearlessness of a Pirate. But 100% CONCENTRATED AWESOME.
Fact 3:
Kenpachi is a God among gods.
We all know Bleach is full of badasses. Renji, Byakuya, Ichigo, Ikkaku, Kisuke, Grimmjow..but not as badass as Kenpachi. Kenpachi is a Captain. Sure, he isn't head captain, but who the hell needs that kind of responsibility? Kenpachi just wants to kick ass. If he wanted to, he could kill everybody in Soul Society. But then he'd get bored because he couldn't kick anybody's ass anymore.
And how did he become Captain? He killed the previous captain in an ultimate duel of destiny. Except it wasn't ultimate because the guy's face ripped in half after glancing at Kenpachi. Kenpachi then took his jacket and never taken it off or washed it since. Think of how many sickly ass bastards he murdered who probably have AIDS. AIDS fears Kenpachi because Kenpachi's cells would just kick AIDS's ass.
And after he became Captain, what happened? That's right. He made the entire squad full of bloodthirsty bastards who want to kill everyone. Ichinose was the previous lieutenant and he was pretty much a whiny little *****. Kenpachi is so hardcore he can take a bunch of whiny little *****es and make the strongest squad ever.
Kenpachi also has ridiculous hair. Now, we all know what the bells and eyepatch are for, but the reason his hair is in a starfish is because more people will be inclined to make fun of them. That is if their intestines didn't strangle them in order to escape Kenpachi's death gaze. But anyway, if people make fun of Kenpachi's hair, he could just slice them in half. Obviously, only real men would make fun of Kenpachi. Which means Kenpachi's hair is actually a clever trap to lure the strongest men into fighting him. Why do you think Ichigo fought Kenpachi? "Wait, that dude has ridiculous hair. I bet I could kick his ass." You bet wrong, Ichigo.
More Kenpachi after these commercials.
I don't know whats sadder, the time the guy took to wrote this, or the time I spent to read it and fall out of my chair laughing.
![[Image: Kenpachi_Fried_Chicken__final_by_frontsideair.png]](http://th01.deviantart.com/fs17/300W/f/2007/128/6/6/Kenpachi_Fried_Chicken__final_by_frontsideair.png)
![[Image: suplexthetrainmd9.gif]](http://img160.imageshack.us/img160/3926/suplexthetrainmd9.gif)
