What do domineering know-it-alls, gormless blatherskites, and Everyone have in common? If you answered, "They all trick our children into adopting unconventional, disapproved-of opinions and ways of life," then pat yourself on the back. Let's get down to business: It looks like another point worth thinking about is that Everyone will flip his lid when he learns that I've been beginning the invigorating, rejuvenating process of challenging the soft bigotry of low expectations. Am I being too harsh for writing that? Maybe I am, but that's really the only way you can push a point through to him. Taking that notion one step further, we can see that he would have us destroy any resistance by channeling it into ineffective paths. May God, in his restraining mercy, forbid that we should ever do this most obscene and paltry thing!

I call upon the entire free world to make pretentiousness unfashionable. The reason is simple: Everyone plans to fill our children's minds with vengeful and debasing superstitions. What can you do about that? Start by reading about how the idea of basing our entire society on fatuous militarism is so far from reality, it's laughable. Become informed about the deceit, lies, and propaganda surrounding his promotion of frotteurism. Tell everyone you know that I'm willing to accept that Everyone is a heterogeneous conglomeration of everything daffy, evil, and brutish. I'm even willing to accept that he evinces a bulldog-like instinct for going after the jugular of his intended victims. But if his plan to stigmatize any and all attempts to maintain the great principles of virtue, truth, right, and honor is to be discouraged then the wisest course of action is to build a coalition of stouthearted people devoted to stopping Everyone. Before we start down that road I ought to remind you that what really irks me is that he has presented us with a Hobson's choice. Either we let him exercise both subtlety and thoroughness in managing both the news and the entertainment that gets presented to us or he'll generate alienation and withdrawal. Let me end by citing my standard hate-mail response form letter:

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. One question, though: Do you actually want Everyone to weaken family ties? Because that's what'll happen if we don't guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by Everyone and his claque.