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+--- Thread: Divorces (/showthread.php?tid=33338)
Divorces - Zelkova - 2010-11-27
Every time i talk to someone new, and we get up to the point where they talk about their home life.... why is it that a good 90% or so have divorced parents?
Seriously?
Its almost like out of all my friends, only my family has stayed intact up to this point in our lives.
Divorces - Tay - 2010-11-27
My parents are divorced
Spoiler
Divorces - Swerve - 2010-11-27
People change, tastes change. Men and women who met in college at a party scene might have different tastes as they get older. One might stay the same while the other might drift to new things. Also with relationships comes obligation and the need to tend to the mate's needs. Gauging feelings such as intimacy, anger, jealousy, and so forth could make or break a public outing if the right feelings don't come together. Even when people want the marriage to work, they may not see each other as much. Especially in the case of a homemaker-bread winner combination. Often times these individuals meet other attractive single individuals at work or around the house and it becomes tempting to stay faithful.
Divorces - Link - 2010-11-27
Mine are divorced --- long as reason why...
It's hard to say why parents divorce, but divorce rates now compared to about a half-century ago are extremely high. :S
Divorces - Swerve - 2010-11-27
... Considering the 1960s was the apex of the Baby Boom. Yeah.
Divorces - Beloved - 2010-11-27
Swerve Wrote:... Considering the 1960s was the apex of the Baby Boom. Yeah.
From what I've noticed, almost all of my white friends have divorced parents. My asian friends dont have divorced parents -- including my own. My black friends do seem to have half and half? Or maybe i dont have enough to say for sure ...
Divorces - ImagineAll - 2010-11-27
People change. Either that or they just get into something thinking one thing and later find in reality it's an entirely different thing.
Makes me nervous to propose to my girlfriend knowing things might just end one day. Puts one in a terribly vulnerable state should one choose to leave. Not really sure if I can do it :\
Divorces - Beloved - 2010-11-27
ImagineAll Wrote:People change. Either that or they just get into something thinking one thing and later find in reality it's an entirely different thing.
Makes me nervous to propose to my girlfriend knowing things might just end one day. Puts one in a terribly vulnerable state should one choose to leave. Not really sure if I can do it :\
It's just like never leaving the house because you're afraid of the great big outside. You could get run over by a car. You could be shot by a gun. You could be kidnapped. That's just it..: you could die. Does that stop you from leaving? No, you leave the comfort of your home everyday anyway. lol Take as many precautions as you need to make sure the future is secure but never be afraid to take the risk of falling. Don't let that hold you back. gl? o_O
Edit: gee that was offtopic .. sorta?
Ontopic ..
I actually think that people have not taken the precautions to limit their chances of failing at a marriage. Therefore chance of success is lower than the chance of fail. Personally, I think farther down the road, people realise that things change drastically when they live together because so many other things come into the equation. Anger management. Tolerance. Forgiveness. Then ...
Babies.
With that, money. And then all sorts of crap that comes in that financial luggage.
Divorces - Rob - 2010-11-27
Eh, people are so picky these days. That's the problem actually.
Divorces - Seanny - 2010-11-27
Swerve Wrote:People change, tastes change. Men and women who met in college at a party scene might have different tastes as they get older. One might stay the same while the other might drift to new things. Also with relationships comes obligation and the need to tend to the mate's needs. Gauging feelings such as intimacy, anger, jealousy, and so forth could make or break a public outing if the right feelings don't come together. Even when people want the marriage to work, they may not see each other as much. Especially in the case of a homemaker-bread winner combination. Often times these individuals meet other attractive single individuals at work or around the house and it becomes tempting to stay faithful.
I think its when both members of a relationship are working that the odds of unfaithfulness rise. Least by what i've witnessed. Most of the 1 person working marriages i know personally do fine, its the couples that are both busy with varying shifts that i noticed have trouble.
I think it makes sense too... more couples were both members work nowadays than back then when one guy needed only a 9-5 job to own a house. and the divorce rate is higher too these days as opposed to the past.
Doesn't help how the media portrays it either; just about every talk show i've seen with a celebrity or someone makes it sound like hell. Not one to blame things on the media but i do know that we do adapt things in it that relate to us; single people have a lot to relate to, and tons of movies romanticize the whole 'getting together' aspect... but what about the 'being and staying together' aspect? Not much to draw inspiration from there, and it kinda dissapoints me.
But i think the biggest contributor to this whole lack of relationships developing is just our society adapting to technology Yes its a Cracked article but i just find a lot of sense in it:
Spoiler
Only the 1st two points in that article are what im really referring to here, Cell phones give us the power to shut out a lot of people. We don't TRY to get used to new people when we can just talk to the few we already get along with. So many little interactions that help us get stronger to swallow petty little differences and make relationships work have somewhat faded out...
Look at someone who spends all day on the phone and those girls who have boyfriends who live the next town over. They cut off people they don't like by deleting their facebook and calling up someone else when they see them in RL. Or they seem to be really annoyed by a person's rather minor annoying traits? I notice how even some people my age don't know how to talk to people with different interests: How well do you think people like this are going to adapt to LIVING with someone different 24/7 and how well their relationships will last with this skill being so weak?
I think its a factor in the successful relationships nowadays...
Divorces - Roxas - 2010-11-27
Don't mind me- just jumping on the divorced parents bandwagon.
Divorces - ThatWasMyKil - 2010-11-27
Roxas Wrote:Don't mind me- just jumping on the divorced parents bandwagon.
this
Divorces - Mute - 2010-11-27
...oddball here; bastard born outta wedlock, mom married later in life to an a'sshole and has yet to get a divorce. delaying it as long as possible i guess, iuno.
Divorces - Kunagisa - 2010-11-27
Because real life isn't like the fantasy world where everyone lives happily ever after with their first love.
Beloved Wrote:It's just like never leaving the house because you're afraid of the great big outside. You could get run over by a car. You could be shot by a gun. You could be kidnapped. That's just it..: you could die. Does that stop you from leaving? No, you leave the comfort of your home everyday anyway. lol Take as many precautions as you need to make sure the future is secure but never be afraid to take the risk of falling. Don't let that hold you back. gl? o_O
Not really. Those are all cases that have relatively little chance of happening in most cases, while the case he's bringing up may or may not have a higher chance of happening (depending on the person). Not to mention going outside and taking the risks of going outside it something most people deal with daily (thus, you're used to it, if you are paranoid about those things), while proposing isn't.
Mute Wrote:...oddball here; bastard born outta wedlock, mom married later in life to an a'sshole and has yet to get a divorce. delaying it as long as possible i guess, iuno.
Well, I was born to a 14 and 16 year old that got married when I was about 7 or so and divorced shortly after.
Divorces - aslemn - 2010-11-27
I get what you mean. Divorces became way more common that they used to be some years ago.
But most of those have a reason between it. People's mind changed a lot nowadays, instead of staying in a marriage that was unsucessful just for the kids, they break up and fight for the children for years.
Each case should be analyzed individually, but divorces became more common specially to the fact people's mind has changed.
.
Some people are really picky nowadays, that think their live is completely perfect until the time they have the first argument fight, or the first mistake occurs, and instead of trying to repair, mostly, people just break up and it's done.
.
Marriage votes were never that accurate. It's not really that the only thing that would end the marriage would be death. There are way too many reasons to break up, be it whatever it is.
Like i said, people used to marry and even hating their wife or husband, they'd just stay for their kids. which doesn't really work well.
Today, at the first fight, they just break up and share the kids.
.
People changed nowadays, and divorce was one question that was drastically changed when viewed by the society.