+- Southperry.net (https://www.southperry.net)
+-- Forum: Arts & Entertainment (https://www.southperry.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=12)
+--- Forum: Expressive Arts (https://www.southperry.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=70)
+---- Forum: The Shady Tree (https://www.southperry.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=85)
+---- Thread: Is there a poet in the house? (/showthread.php?tid=26404)
Is there a poet in the house? - Orit - 2010-06-09
I need help translating a poem from Hebrew to English.
I can do a literal translation, but the original is old-fashioned poetry - you know, with rhyme and meter - and the best I can do is just strangely formatted prose.
So, I'm looking for someone who can take this and make it scan. Doesn't have to match the original's music (youtube link below), just be a poem.
TIA!
Song of Three Responses
Lyrics: Nathan Alterman
He said: "If you follow me
You shall wear neither velvet nor silk
It may be bitter to the point of no strength."
So she said, slowly, "I have strength.
If necessary, I shall wear rags
as if donning shiny velvet
If necessary, I shall scrub floors
and consider myself a queen.
Anything you request and ask
I shall do and remain happy
It will be good, my love, it will be easy
I shall never lack for strength."
Then he said, "What if I cheat
and leave you redundant
to wait through long nights
til I return from the other's arms?"
"If waiting is required, I'll wait,"
so she said with her face in light,
"If I shouldn't cry, I won't cry,
As long as I know you'll return.
Anything you request and ask
I shall do and remain happy
It will be good, my love, it will be easy
I shall never lack for strength."
Then he said, "What if I said
You must get up and leave
And forget me, and never
return, for you are cast out?"
She was only silent for a minute, then smiled
And spoke with her face as frost.
"If you tell me to go, I will go.
If you say not to return, I will not.
But one thing do not ask
Do not tell me to forget you
Because that, my love, I could not do
For that, I will not have the strength."
[video=youtube;w75HfVwb0ow]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w75HfVwb0ow[/video]
Is there a poet in the house? - octopusprime - 2010-11-14
There is now.
This looks interesting. I'll give it a crack tommorrow.
I need a bit of clarification if i'm going to make any good attempt at getting this with good rhyme and meter.
Is your translation taken in a sort of line for line way? Or did you change it to make it better prose?
Is there a poet in the house? - SaptaZapta - 2010-12-16
octopusprime Wrote:Is your translation taken in a sort of line for line way? Or did you change it to make it better prose?
It's line for line.