You ask for a hamburger - Printable Version

You ask for a hamburger - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: You ask for a hamburger (/showthread.php?tid=18707)

You ask for a hamburger - Spideyjvc - 2009-11-07

You ask for a hamburger. I give you a hamburger. You raise it to your lips and take a bite. Your eye twitches involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. I give you a hamburger. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. You cannot swallow. There are children at the top of the stairs. A pickle shifts uneasily under the bun. I give you a hamburger. You look at my face, and I am pleading with you. The children are crying now. You raise the hamburger to your lips, tears stream down your face as you take a bite. I give you a hamburger. You are on your knees. You plead with me to go across the street. I hear only children's laughter. I give you a hamburger. You are screaming as you fall down the stairs. I am your child. You cannot see anything. You take a bite of the hamburger. The concrete rushes up to meet you. You awake with a start in your own bed. Your eye twitches involuntarily. I give you a hamburger. As you kill me, I do not make a sound. I give you a hamburger.
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You ask for a hamburger - SuperNerd - 2009-11-07

What the pineapple is going on here?

You ask for a hamburger - Greg - 2009-11-07

Copypasta from /b/.

Why?

You ask for a hamburger - Spideyjvc - 2009-11-07

You ask me for a hamburger. My attempt to reciprocate is cut brutally short as my body experiences a sudden lack of electrons. Across a variety of hidden dimensions you are dismayed. John Lennon hands me an apple, but it slips through my fingers. I am reborn as an ocelot. You disapprove. A crack echoes through the universe in defiance of conventional physics as cosmological background noise shifts from randomness to a perfect A Flat. Children everywhere stop what they are doing and hum along in perfect pitch with the background radiation. Birds fall from the sky as the sun engulfs the earth. You hesitate momentarily before allowing yourself to assume the locus of all knowledge. Entropy crumbles as you peruse the information contained within the universe. A small library in Phoenix ceases to exist. You stumble under the weight of every. Your mouth opens up to cry out and collapses around your body before blinking you out of the spatial plane. You exist only within the fourth dimension. The fountainhead of all knowledge rolls along the ground and collides with a small dog. My head tastes sideways as spacetime is reestablished. You blink back into the corporeal world disoriented, only for me to hand you a hamburger as my body collapses under the strain of reconstitution. The universe has reasserted itself. A particular small dog is fed steak for the rest of its natural life. You die in a freak accident moments later, and your soul works at the returns desk for the Phoenix library. You disapprove. Your disapproval sends ripples through the inter-dimensional void between life and death. A small child begins to cry as he walks toward the stairway where his father stands.
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Grog Wrote:Copypasta from /b/.

Why?

I don't browse /b/

You ask for a hamburger - JoeTang - 2009-11-08

Why are we speaking German? A mime cries softly as he cradles a young cow. Your grandfather stares at you as the cow falls apart into patties. You look down only to see me with pickles for eyes, I am singing the song that gives birth to the universe.

<Insert Relevant Picture Here>

You ask for a hamburger - Hazzy - 2009-11-08

[Image: Hamburger-Harley.jpg]

I think I'd cry after trying to eat that, too.

You ask for a hamburger - TøbiasBlack - 2009-11-08

why are you copy-pasting a timeless tale?

You ask for a hamburger - Stereo - 2009-11-08

cuil is the answer

do not ask the question.

You ask for a hamburger - Spideyjvc - 2009-11-08

You look at the starlit sky. A calming sensation surges through your body. You are on the floor. A cold breeze blows you. It is quiet, calming silence. The feeling of something moist is under your head. You relax and dose under the starlit sky. A follicle of hair lands gently in a sky blue ocean. It is the morning, you awake and go outside. A shooting star flies elegantly across the horizon. They cry in their cages, they are covered in blood. You watch the starlit sky. A loud noise rings in your right ear. You are on the ground. A truck passes by. They are watching you, their sorrowful eyes peer deep into you. An ambulance in the distance is heard. A burger falls onto the floor, there are now seven. You are looking up at the starlit sky. Somewhere in Phoenix a library is replaced by a burger shop. As you try to move your finger, your arm converts into soil. There is moss on the back of your neck. You hear a familiar voice next to you. You cannot distinguish who it is, you only know that it is a familiar voice. A cloud in the formation of a mushroom has appeared far away. You are warned by the manager. You refuse to take heed to the warning. The cages stop rattling. You are staring up at the starlit sky.
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