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+--- Thread: Online Dating (/showthread.php?tid=58310)
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Online Dating - Connor - 2012-10-16
Well it's definitely not something to be ashamed of these days since online dating has become a lot more popular than it once was.
That being said, I think it's fine to try an online dating website as long as you go into it with the right mindset. Especially since you're gay it's not so easy to meet in public unless you go to a gay bar or some gay club at school or something. However so many people go on those sites to find THE ONE and that is just so unrealistic. You can't hop on a website and write in your profile LOOKING FOR LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP and immediately expect a soulmate. I hate that so much because I have no desire meeting up with someone who has that expectation. Use it to make friends and see where that friendship develops. Isn't that how a normal relationship works?
Also just be mindful that a lot of people, especially gays, use those websites just looking for sex (even if they say otherwise) and will be extremely persistent. Make sure you clearly state what you're looking for and what you're not.
As for dating from online gaming like Maple, I think it's fine if you two are within reasonable distance of each other and can actually meet without it being a hassle, because the majority of long distance relationships do not work, and that's fact. I know there was a couple in Mardia when I used to play who met from Maple, met in real life, dated, got married, and now have had their first child.
I know a few of my fellow gays are on OKCupid. It's got a respectable environment (no porn sidebar ads like many of the other sites out there) and most people are just looking to meet new friends and such. Just comes down to your luck if you actually find someone you like inside and out.
There's also Grindr if you have a smartphone and want to download the app. It's the most popular app for gay men as it's a pretty simple concept: shows which guys are in your area, what they are looking for, and allows you to chat with them. I use it sometimes however I get pestered a lot by pervs (they are everywhere there's no escape sadly) but I've met some decent people from it as well.
Hope that helps!
Online Dating - VerrKol - 2012-10-16
First my personal experience: I actually met my current girlfriend through an online friend (from the old days in Maple). Our guild still maintains an active skype chat despite going to our separate games and I met my gf when she got added to the chat.
At first it was just us playing LoL then it evolved to private chats and finally texting. Somewhere along the way we learned that we go to the same university and decided to meet. We met and had a great time. I immediately asked her out the next day and we've been dating ever since.
I must stress that we weren't dating until we actually met and I would not have considered dating someone long distance online (though I later found out she would have).
I also have an aunt+uncle that met through a dating website and are now married.
To me, it doesn't matter how two people meet as long as they enjoy spending time together. I definitely think there has to be a physical component in the romantic relationship so being able to visit each other in person is a MUST.
Some people can get by without this but I very rarely see long term long distance relationships work out well. Usually it just ends up as incredibly frustrating for both parties and possibly missed opportunities for what I think of as 'real' relationships with someone close by.
There's still definitely a stigma associated with online dating or even just meeting online. Except for a few close friends, I just tell people my gf and I met through her sister (the friend from maple) and leave it at that to avoid the awkwardness.
I have no personal experience with dating websites, but I suppose I would consider it. It seems at least better than meeting strangers in a bar.
Online Dating - Felicitates - 2012-10-16
KhainiWest Wrote:They can work if you both are at flexible, independent stages of your life. It takes patience, trust at a whole other level, and really emphasizes the emotional level of your relationship. Online dating is people who want long term relationships, not flings, that's why a lot of them don't work.
This.
This sums it up in a cute little short package for you. It is REALLY important that you're at very independent stages of your life. Patience is also EXTREMELY important.
If it is destined to happen, it'll happen. Don't jump through hoops just to see if this person might be kinda fun to hang out with.
Online Dating - Seanny - 2012-10-17
From the people ive witnessed... i don't mind either form of online dating, dating site or other. I personally know more success from the whole casual 'friendship evolving to online dating' path.
My old guild leader in MS met someone special in Maple, and over the course of a couple of years, got together in RL and are now married. for about 3-4 years now iirc. I also know about 2 couples consistently dating for about 2 years plus
I also seen a few failures, a couple who was dating for about a year and a half... met in RL... and broke up MID-VISIT. Also just heard about a breakup that honestly dissapointed me cause they were so nice together imo. But ah well.
I think its just a lot safer to build up that understanding over time.I can't speak for dating sites, but i could imagine people wear masks... but at least through other avenues, its a lot less likely someone could stay dedicated to a persona the longer you know them and the more you learn.
Online Dating - Yorckie - 2012-10-17
The only advice I can give is... make sure you can meet the person in real life easily, because if you start getting interested/like him too much and won't be possible to see each other in a good time, it'll be painful.
Online Dating - Doxinator - 2012-10-17
Appreciate the input so far.
I have made profiles in the past, but nothing on 'serious' websites, really. I'm usually quite picky with whom I talk to on these websites, and rarely give my number out. 90% of the time, the guys weren't actually seeking a relationship. I usually try to meet the person within a weeks period of time. That's when I officially ask for their number, take them on a date, be adorable, etc etc. So far with these new, 'safer' websites, I've met quite a few cool guys. If anything long term stems from it, great! But I don't want to attempt to get my hopes up too much. I do like the advice of making my intentions clear right off the bat as well. Helps to weed out the not-so-interested men.
Online Dating - Christopher - 2012-10-18
I met [MENTION=478]JoshKun[/MENTION] on southperry.
We've been together for 3 years 1 month and 14 days.